Kansas City just had its last chance to hear Walt Bodine, its most recognized broadcast personality live on the air. Walt has been a presence in the local broadcast market for over seventy years, and in that time he made his way around the radio and TV circuit as advertiser, reporter, talk show host, and restaurant reviewer.

He was like us, even to the point of being the very embodiment of a stereotypical Kansas Citian. At the height of his career, he was the scratchy-throated curmudgeon we loved to see reviewing a restaurant on TV; his reactions to anything non-Midwestern ran something like, “You know, this [non-American cuisine] is interesting, but I’m going to go down the street now and get a steak.” When he interviewed national celebrities, his questions seemed to be less geared toward the weighty matters of their careers – things that were probably well known anyway – than they did about things only someone who (literally) could not see past his own city would ask. Who else could have gotten Jim Lehrer to speak at length about his early years as a Kansas boy, his vintage bus restoration project, and to reenact the announcement of arrivals and departures at a ’60s era Greyhound station?

Would that Walt’s career, such as it was as a quirky, folksy reporter, could have ended more gracefully. Given Walt’s advanced age and poor health, he was barely able to participate in his last show, and this fact alone made for a cringe-worthy affair. The guest co-hosts did their best to engage Walt in conversation, but Walt sounded like he was only marginally aware of his environs, and he could barely form yes or no answers to their questions between loud, gurgly coughs. Adding insult to injury, the show took place during KCUR’s spring pledge drive. So between the impromptu remembrances, a couple of random sound clips, and Walt’s few attempts to say something coherent, they were asking for money. Real classy. And obviously, none of this would have been Walt’s idea were he still capable of deciding for himself how to make a clean exit into retirement.

But that is the problem; last Friday’s goodbye played out as it did because it came many years too late. Walt has not truly hosted a radio show in over a decade, and even as a guest he would have had little to contribute to one for almost as long. (Again, not his fault.) Yet they kept wheeling him into the studio and mic’ing him up every weekday at 10am (although not as often toward the end). While the real moderating was handled by someone else, Walt was left pretty much to his own to say whatever he wanted, whether it had anything to do with the show topic or otherwise. That could not have been an enjoyable experience for any prospective listener, and certainly not for those in the studio.

Of course, it is not as though no one at KCUR recognized many years ago it was time for Walt to call it quits while he was still able to sign off for good on his own and with some dignity. But instead of granting him that chance, the show was abruptly canceled ca. 1996 with no explanation at all. Walt still had an active fan base at the time, and they appeared at least as insulted at the brushoff as he. After several days of protests outside the station and TV news reports that covered the whole thing and gave Walt a chance to voice his own reaction, his show was reinstated indefinitely. No doubt there was concern that any subsequent attempts to cancel the show would be even trickier in light of the fiasco. And while there may well have been more to the story of that first cancellation than was made public, from the outside it sure looked like Walt was really the one getting the raw deal, even after they brought him back. Given how he fared as a talk show host over the next 16 years, I think that is not far from the truth.

In any case, it’s done. I am certain Mr. Bodine will ultimately be remembered for his earlier work, especially by many of the current crop of local journalists who considered him a mentor. Walt was never a celebrity who would have caught the attention of the whole nation, and that was largely his appeal to those of us who ‘knew’ him as a member of our own community. Probably every mid-size city in the nation like ours has had someone like Walt at some point since the birth of mass media, i.e., a public figure whose life seemed to revolve solely around celebrating local culture and due to whose ubiquity everyone comes to feel they know well. Hopefully at 92 that is how he remembers things.

That’s what I have to say to that.

***Edit: This is definitely my favorite WB report, admittedly because it’s about my favorite spot on the planet

Marrakech Cafe – 4116 Broadway Street, Kansas City, MO 64111, (816) 753-7520

Morocco now enjoys representation among the array of ethnic fare available in Westport. Since opening not quite a year ago, this small storefront just south of the Broadway Cafe quickly became a regular lunch destination for many of my colleagues, and when I joined them one day it was easy to see why. The tiny staff of 2 or 3 are very friendly and seem excited to be sharing their own comfort food with midtown. And naturally, the food itself is delicious.

Couscous made on site figures prominently in main dishes, and due to its freshness it has far more character than just the tasteless filler I’ve come to think of it. The grains almost have a spring to them.

It’s easy to make a complete meal just out of the appetizers and sides. Chicken skewers, a salad and soup seem to be a popular combination. The cucumber and tomato salad might remind you of gazpacho with its cool favors and a light, tangy vinaigrette flecked with fresh herbs. You can go for the more familiar lentil soup, or try the harira, a traditional Moroccan favorite of lentil broth and chickpeas.

From the grill come kabobs of chicken, beef, or merguez, a lamb/beef sausage popular in North Africa. Those of you counting carbs might especially like the kabob plates minus the rice; the meat strips are served on a lettuce leaf alongside what appeared to be a melange of grilled cabbage, onion, and squash. (And if you don’t want your seasoned rice, I’ll have yours.) The sandwiches with many of the same ingredients and flavors in the dinner entrees are fairly large.

Dessert selection seems to vary, but items that were available on my visits included baklava and tiramisu, both very well executed.

Enjoy any of these selections with the house’s signature drink, an addictive green tea sweetened with honey.

From what I have heard, the owners, brothers Amine and Nouri Kamal worked in catering and other areas of food service before opening Marrakesh Cafe, and you can tell from the service and their passion for the food that opening this restaurant must of been a longtime dream of theirs. It’s the kind of place one really loves to see succeed, and here’s hoping it does.

Upon learning of Google’s intent to make gigabit-speed internet connectivity widely available in Kansas City, KS, a friend of mine took the words right out of my mouth: “Think about how much faster gun stores will be able to talk to liquor stores, even if they are next door.” It is hard to imagine the Kansas City that time forgot being somehow transformed into The Towwwn Of Toooomorrowwww! because of this.

But both Google and city leaders are talking about the gift of gigabit speed like it’s the deus ex machina to end all of KCK’s social and economic woes:

What color is the sky in their world? Faster internet speeds are a welcome improvement anywhere, but what gets me are these fantastical claims about the extent to which it will improve quality of life.

KU Medical Center is an obvious winner here, because they have the technology to make use of a gigabit link right now. KCK itself, as it exists today, not so much. The resultant attraction of new business will undeniably be good for the city over time, but even a high speed data network is no cure for a depressed city’s problems with crime and sub-par schools. No, students will not perform better in school because the building has a fast internet link. Things that make test scores go up are improved conditions at home, better nutritional and exercise habits, etc.

Any improvement in quality of life most KCK residents might see, even as an indirect result of Google’s intervention, would not be realized for a decade at the very least, and that is an eternity in IT years. So it is hard to believe a company like Google is really in this experiment for the long term. In ten years’ time, Google – if it even exists under that name – could conceivably have a mission wholly different from where it claims to be headed today.

I do think Google will be around for a long time, but I also get the impression they are hoping for results that cannot be achieved within their attention span.

I just realized there is, in fact, one good thing about the Power & Light district: It bled Westport nearly dry of douchebaggery. Now, there’s a vein that needed opening for years.

Really, P&L seems like it was custom-built for douches.

• Absolutely no character to the place that would otherwise be lost on the targeted clientele
• Lots of unbreakable concrete and metal infrastructure that’s easy to hose spilled beer and vomit off of every week
• Ridiculously inflated prices that easily convey the illusion of exclusivity to the addle-minded
• Fees applied to any opportunity to stand out as a douche among douches (e.g., being spritzed with cheap cologne in the bathroom or having a slur on your buddy written on a big chalkboard)

So one might say it’s the bug light that helps keep other parts of the city a bit cleaner. Spend on, douches!

News of SRO Video’s imminent closure kind of made me feel like a good friend died. Actually, several friends. For 26 years, Sue Ann and her quirky band of bohemian movie jocks ran what was undeniably KC’s most sophisticated video store. A movie collection rich in indie, classic, and foreign titles was served up by a staff that loved film and loved talking about it. And they wanted to get everyone in on the fun. There were movie poster giveaways, discounts for film personality birthdays, and one day a month was proclaimed Beer Night. As though it were not obvious, the monthly event calendar always sported the headline, “We Are Not Boring!”

I am as guilty as anyone for letting the new by-mail and online content delivery services change how I watch movies. And I suppose that could be why the e-mail announcing SRO’s demise came like a sucker punch; there was no way I (as a continuing fan but former patron) could deny I was partly responsible.

But guilt and the inevitable mourning aside, SRO, with its shiny Employee Picks stickers, trivia contests, and entire sections labeled “Woody” and “Hitch” remains a happy fixture of KC’s past. Naturally, I got to thinking about other local stores now gone but which were equally deserving of the ‘not boring’ moniker. I bet you can, too, but here are some to get you started:

Whistler’s Books – This Westport bookstore in a two-story loft space was a reader’s paradise (if you could find a free chair), and titles featured on the display tables were generally well-considered employee picks. Material in the kids’ section was notably depressing or rife with political correctness.

Fine Arts Theatre – It was once famous for having run The Gods Must Be Crazy for something like a year.

Javagaia – Open for just a couple of years, this was the archetypal coffee house on Southwest Boulevard; it had everything – great coffee, live music, a head shop in the loft, a goldfish pond with waterfall, and lots of dirty hippies. It never reopened after the building flooded in 1993.

Pyramids Café – While I have not experienced much variation in fare and quality among Mediterranean restos in KC, at least this place just south of 34th on Broadway really dressed the part with bright white walls, lots of gold trim, and loud blue carpet.

The Hurricane (a.k.a. The Whore-a-cane) – Now operating under a different name, this small venue known best for promoting the local rock scene still accommodated just about every musical trend of the ’90s, including the brief swing revival.

Finnegan’s Irish Pub – What is now the Record Bar with its tasteful wood interior (thanks to the remodel by their predecessor, Molloy Bros.) used to have carpet and tacky leprechaun-green walls. For a while there was a free hot dog bar that encouraged prolonged drinking but which they must have removed because the local bums caught on to it.

Lucille’s/Otto’s – The kitchen in the original Lucille’s building had a nasty habit of catching fire, which was too bad for this open-late ’50s retro diner that drew its staff from the local supply pool of punk kids. The more modestly-sized Otto’s malt shop a few blocks away continued the tradition for another few years before the owners left KC ostensibly for good and reopened in Las Vegas, NV. A recent revival inside the Czar Bar didn’t seem to pan out.

Middle Class Values – In 1991 KXTR produced an ad in which Patrick Neas and another DJ faked Sveeedish accents and talked about all the cool stuff at Middle Class Values they could buy as Christmas presents for little Fannie and Alexander. At their mere mention of Twin Peaks paraphernalia, I made an immediate pilgrimage and discovered a store that was something like Spencer Gifts sans the shit-joke greeting cards and offensive light switch plates. I was sad to hear of the owner’s passing within the last year or so.

Bruce Smith Drugs on the Plaza – More has been written about the ‘chainafication’ of the Plaza than I care to rehash, but for me this store’s disappearance marked the point at which the shopping district ceased to have a local personality.

Emile’s – The space now occupied by the Plaza Starbucks once housed one of KC’s best (and few) German restaurants. There was nothing like a simple plate of schnitzel, spätzle, and sauerkraut with a glass of Warsteiner on Emile’s corner patio.

Classical Westport – In the same vein as SRO, here was a store that specialized in selling albums in a specific genre and where the staff could give intelligent buying advice. Occasional events centered around a particular composer also helped retain their solid following.

The Souper – Definitely part of Westport’s long-gone bohemian days, this eatery was known for its bread and lunchtime fare (including some great quiche, if memory serves). The hifi was loud and the crowd was high.